Deviled Egg Pageant: Godzilla Eggs

I ate like fifteen deviled eggs today.

For the second year in a row, I hosted a deviled egg pageant. Mostly as an excuse to eat an obscene amount of eggs.

IMG_2089The competition was fierce. From left to right, starting at the top: Godzilla Eggs (mine!), a little Sriracha number; Old Bay Crust-egg-ceans, with red pepper strip legs and olive eyes; Mousse Experiment #24, a complex, cloud-like mousse filling with apples, onions, and brandy; Roasted Garlic Deviled Eggs with Cayenne and Paprika (made by Ann Marie, who has shared her recipe on her blog); Potato Skin “Eggs” for the egg haters; Smoked Eggs (as in, smoked with wood chips!) some vegetarian, some topped with smoked salmon; Sriracha and Wasabi Eggs that were CUBES and tasted like Chinese food and had an amazing plating diorama (made by Jenny, who shared her secrets on her blog); and Bacon, Cheddar, and Chive Eggs.

You know, it’s not fair to say this was just about eating a bunch of eggs. It was also an excuse to get crafty. Because what’s an pageant without prizes?

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Yes, that is an egg tiara. And plaques.

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It’s pretty serious.

So, how’d it all go down? There were four Honorable Mentions:

Baltimore deviled egg pageant: honorable mentionsBest Not-an-Egg – Liz’s Potato Skin “Eggs”
Just Like Grandma Used To Make – Ann Marie’s Roasted Garlic Deviled Eggs
Best Local Pride – Colline’s Old Bay Crust-egg-ceans
What the Heck Was in That? – Ray’s Mousse Experiment #24

Then there were the three main prizes:

Baltimore deviled egg pageant: Audience choice and best classic eggBest Classic Egg – Kendall’s Bacon, Cheddar and Chive
Best Modern Egg – yours truly’s Godzilla Eggs
Audience Choice – Jenny’s Sriracha and Wasabi Eggs

Seriously, did I mention how amazing Jenny’s eggs were? CUBES. DELICIOUSNESS. DIORAMA.

Baltimore deviled egg pageant: Best egg in showThe judges told me that Best Egg in Show was a tight race, but in the end the answer was obvious.
Baltimore deviled egg pageant: Egg queenJenny was born to wear that tiara.

I’m honored to have won Best Modern Egg two years in a row (you may remember my recipe for chipotle cheddar deviled eggs from last year). And I’m happy to share this year’s recipe with you.

I could tell you what I think about these eggs. They’re sushi inspired, making use of a mayo based sushi dipping sauce to create the filling then topped with a nori garnish. (I may have claimed that deviled eggs are “the sushi of the West” which honestly, I still stand behind.)

I can also tell you what the judges thought, since I sneaked a peek at their scoring sheets. The experts say that these eggs taste “Impeccable, [with a] good balance of spicy and salty.” In addition, “Sriracha doesn’t overpower, which is good. Great flavor that lingers.”

I’ll try not to let it go to my head.

Godzilla eggsGodzilla Eggs

Makes 24 deviled eggs

12 eggs, hard cooked
6 cups water
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons black soy sauce
4 black teabags (I used Red Rose which is just a basic orange pekoe)
1/2 cup mayonnaise, homemade preferred
2 tablespoons + 1 teaspoon Sriracha chili sauce
1/4 teaspoon toasted sesame oil
1/4 teaspoon chili oil
1/8 teaspoon salt
Sriracha chili sauce, for garnish
sesame seeds, for garnish
1/4 – 1/2 sheet nori, chopped chiffonade, for garnish

Start with eggs that are already hard cooked with whatever method you prefer. I’m a fan of the process I outlined in my chipotle cheddar deviled eggs recipe, which is basically: put room temperature eggs in a pot, cover with water, put a lid on, put over heat. When it just comes to a boil, cut the heat and leave for 9 minutes. Drain and put in an ice bath or flush with cold water until the eggs are cool.

Bring 6 cups of fresh water to a boil. Stir in the soy sauce and black soy sauce, then add the teabags and remove from heat. Let steep for about 5 minutes then remove. Set aside to cool completely.

Peel cooked eggs, then place in cooled tea/soy sauce mixture. It is important to make sure the mixture is completely cooled to avoid overcooking your eggs! Set in the fridge to steep for at least 8 hours.

In a small bowl, combine the mayonnaise, Sriracha, sesame oil and chili oil. Stir well. Chill for at least 30 minutes.

Slice peeled, tea-dyed eggs in half and scoop the yolks into a medium bowl. Mash the yolks with a fork until all lumps are gone. Add Sriracha/mayo mixture and salt, and stir to combine. Make sure you really whip the filling to get rid of all the lumps. Taste, then add more Sriracha or salt if desired.

Spoon or pipe filling into egg white halves, then garnish with a dot of Sriracha, a sprinkle of sesame seeds and the chopped nori. Eat!

Spicy pineapple seitan, for the mystery pineapple in your cupboards

Last year for my birthday, I had a hot dog party.

It was awesome.

Basically, we grilled up a bunch of Field Roast Frankfurters for me and the other veg*ns, Hebrew Nationals for the omnis, and provided a mountain of buns.

Then all the guests brought a different topping, potluck style. Toppings ranged from fancy-pants mustard to grilled onions to baked macaroni and cheese to guacamole. There were so many delicious toppings that I cut my hot dogs into pieces so I could do different toppings on each bite, and even then still ate way too many hot dogs.

So like I said, a lot of creative toppings, and surprisingly few repeats. But the one thing that showed up over and over was pineapple. People just brought can upon can of the stuff, crushed and tidbits alike. I’m assuming it was to make Hawaiiany hot dogs. But for some reason, none of the cans were actually opened at the party. And they, of course, all got left behind.

I rarely use canned pineapple, so I kind of forgot about it until recently when I was reorganizing the cupboard. My birthday is in April, so uh, they’d been sitting there for a while. Something needed to be done.

I used my favorite tender seitan, Companion Cha’i-Pow-Yu, which you can usually find at Asian markets. It doesn’t look very appetizing right out of the can, but trust me when I say it cooks up nice — just make sure you drain and rinse it. If you can’t get your hands on it, just use your favorite seitan.

Anyway, if you find some cans of mystery pineapple in your cupboard, this is what you’ve gotta do with it. If you don’t have any, this is worth buying some. Trust me.

spicy pineapple seitan

Spicy Pineapple Seitan
Adapted from Pineapple Marinade by Derrick Riches at About.com

Serves 3 to 4

1/2 cup crushed pineapple with juice
2 tablespoons + 2 teaspoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons + 2 teaspoons honey *
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
pinch ground cloves
1 can Companion Cha’i-Pow-Yu (or 10 ounces of your favorite seitan)
1 small green bell pepper, cut into bite size chunks
1 small onion, cut into wedges
heaping 1/2 cup pineapple pieces (canned is fine)
1 serrano pepper, thinly sliced into rounds (remove some seeds/ribs as desired to dial down the heat)
1 teaspoon unrefined coconut oil
2 teaspoons cornstarch

Mix crushed pineapple, soy sauce, honey, vinegar, garlic, ginger, and cloves in a freezer bag or storage container and stir until combined.

Drain and rinse Cha’i-Pow-Yu, then add to marinade and stir to coat. Refrigerate and marinate for at least 30 minutes, or up to 8 hours.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a medium bowl, mix seitan and marinade with bell pepper, onion, pineapple, and serrano pepper. Set aside.

Grease a small baking pan with the coconut oil, then pour mixture into it. Bake for 20 minutes.

Remove from oven and take a small amount of liquid from the pan. Stir it into a small bowl with the cornstarch until there are no lumps. Pour the slurry back into the pan, stir to combine, then bake for an additional 5 minutes, until slightly thickened. Let cool for a few minutes.

Serve with rice that has been lightly coated with melted coconut oil.

* Vegan substitution: Use an equal amount of agave nectar for a vegan dish.

Vegan French onion dip for a Super Bowl snack

So, I don’t give a shit about football, or the Super Bowl.

But I sure do like snacks!

Oh yeah, I guess my city is also going crazy because of this particular Super Bowl. Caw caw, and so on.

But mostly, I’m in this just for the snacks.

But what snacks to make? I considered jalapeno popper dip, but decided I should try something new. Then I got to thinking about how I told y’all to make a double batch of caramelized onions earlier this week. And I figured since one of the hosts of the party I am going to is a vegan, it might be nice for him to be able to eat something besides what he’s making.

You see where I’m going with this, right?

vegan French onion dip

This is a great dish for mixed crowds: people who might normally grumble about a veganized version of a classic snack-food will be so blown away by the real caramelized onions instead of sad freeze-dried bits from a packet. Using tofu instead of sour cream and mayo does give a bit of a lighter taste to it. I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing; when navigating a Super Bowl sea of deep fried everything, pacing yourself is key. Not for dieting, mind you, but to ensure you can sufficiently sample all the snacks.

If you already have the caramelized onions ready, this dip zizzes up in a hot minute. If you don’t, I once again must recommend that you make a double batch of the onions. It only takes a little bit longer, and you never know when you might need some.

Vegan French Onion Dip
Adapted from Tofu Sour Cream by Vegan Epicurean

Makes about 4 1/2 cups

Onions:
1 1/2 pounds thinly sliced yellow onions (about 2 large onions)
1/4 cup olive oil
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon sugar

Dip:
2 12.3-ounce packages of Mori-Nu firm silken tofu
1/4 cup canola oil
1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
2 teaspoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon miso
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1/2 teaspoon Marmite
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, plus more to taste
salt, to taste

First off, caramelize the onions. Thinly slice the onions in half moons. In a large pot, heat oil over low heat. Add sliced onions and toss to fully coat. Cover and leave for 15 minutes (20 minutes for double batch) to soften.

Remove lid and raise the heat slightly. Add in salt and sugar, then cook and stir onions frequently for 30 to 45 minutes (50 to 60 minutes for a double batch) — you want them to be paper lunch bag brown, and for the texture to be gelatinous, almost like preserves or marmalade. These can be refrigerated or frozen for later use. If using immediately, set aside to cool. You’ll be left with approximately 3/4 cup of caramelized onions.

Put tofu, canola oil, vinegar, lemon juice, dijon, miso, Marmite, and pepper in a food processor and blend until very smooth. Add caramelized onions and pulse 5-6 times — don’t overdo it!

Scoop into a bowl or storage container, give it a quick stir to combine, and cover tightly. Chill for at least 2 hours or up to 2 days. It will firm up a little bit in the fridge.

Before serving, give it a taste and stir in more salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste. Serve with chips, bread, crackers, and/or slices of apples and pears.

French(ish) onion soup with a Japanese-inspired veggie brown broth

Oh, French onion soup. I’ve been a vegetarian since I was a kid, and I remember being devastated when I realized that French onion soup had beef broth in it. It’s kind of obvious, right? I mean, something in there is giving it all that beautiful umami, and so many soups are made with meat broth anyway, especially in restaurants. But to a kid, if something isn’t obviously a hunk of meat, it’s vegetarian, right?

French(ish) onion soup

So I set out to make a brown broth. But despite this being for French onion soup, the broth turned out very… Japanese. I was inspired by classic vegetarian dashi, along with a few little tweaks to get a really deep, beefy flavor.

While the broth adds some good flavor, let’s be clear here — this is an onion soup. Most of the flavor is coming from those lovely little caramelized onions. This may be a cheap meal but it’s not exactly quick. Rushing the onions will not serve you in your quest for deliciousness. If you want to enjoy this as a weeknight dinner, the way to accomplish that is to caramelize the onions and make the broth ahead of time and refrigerate or freeze until needed.

So with that said: go ahead and double the butter, oil, onions, salt, and sugar in this recipe to make a double batch of onions. When they’re caramelized, remove half to store in the fridge or freezer and continue with your recipe from there. Caramelized onions require a such a slow and active cooking time, so it’s worth it to spend a little more time chopping and have something else to show for your efforts. You can plop them on almost anything (pizza! eggs! sandwiches!), make vegan French onion dip, or even save them to make this soup again, only much faster.

French(ish) Onion Soup
Adapted from French Onion Soup by Smitten Kitchen

Serves 4 – 5

Broth:
7.5 cups water
1 1/2 cups dried shiitake mushrooms
2 inch piece of dried kombu
1/2 teaspoon Marmite
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

Soup:
1 1/2 pounds thinly sliced yellow onions (about 2 large onions)
3 tablespoons unsalted butter *
1 tablespoon olive oil
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon sugar
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 cup dry white wine
3 tablespoons cognac (optional)
1 teaspoon miso (optional)
soy sauce and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Gratinée:
1-2 cups grated Gruyere * **
1 tablespoon butter, melted *
12 to 16 1-inch thick rounds French bread, toasted until hard

* Vegan substitution: use all olive oil instead of a mixture of butter and olive oil to caramelize the onions. If you want to do a vegan gratinée I would recommend Earth Balance instead of the butter, and a 1:1 combination of Daiya mozzarella shreds and your favorite vegan parmesan.

** If a) you find Gruyere a little too strong, b) you like a more ooey-gooey gratinée, or c) your wallet cries at the thought of that much nice cheese: substitute up to half of the Gruyere with grated mozzarella.

Put rinsed kombu in cold water. Bring to a simmer over medium heat. Remove kombu, and add rinsed mushrooms. Lower heat to remain at a simmer, and simmer for 30 minutes. Remove mushrooms and squeeze out extra broth — reserve these for another use or discard. Dissolve in Marmite (I stick the measuring spoon in there to let the brown gold melt completely off), then stir in soy sauce and Worcestershire sauce. Set aside — you can refrigerate or freeze it for later use.

Thinly slice the onions in half moons. In a large pot, melt butter and stir in oil over low heat. Add sliced onions and toss to fully coat. Cover and leave for 15 minutes (20 minutes for double batch) to soften.

Remove lid and raise the heat slightly. Add in salt and sugar, then cook and stir onions frequently for 30 to 45 minutes (50 to 60 minutes for a double batch) — you want them to be paper lunch bag brown, and for the texture to be gelatinous, almost like preserves or marmalade. These can also be refrigerated or frozen for later use.

Once the onions are caramelized, sprinkle flour over the surface and stir over medium heat for 2-3 minutes, until the “raw flour” smell goes away. Make sure you scrape the bottom of the pot thoroughly as you stir so the flour doesn’t burn on there.

Pour in the wine and stir to combine. Then add the broth a cup or so at a time, stirring well between each addition. Taste for seasoning, then add black pepper and to taste. Hold off on adding any more soy sauce if you plan on using miso and/or topping with cheese, as both of those will bring some saltiness to the picture. Bring to a simmer, and simmer for 30 more minutes.

Remove from heat. If using miso, remove about a quarter cup of the broth, and put in a small bowl with miso. Whisk to combine, then pour back into soup. Then, stir in cognac if using. Both of these things are optional, but… they are really good. Give it a taste, and and add more soy sauce if desired.

From here, the soup can be enjoyed as is (and is vegan, if you use all olive oil to caramelize the onions). But if you’re looking to spoil yourself with that rich, restaurant-experience French onion soup, the gratinéed lid is kind of a requirement.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Place six oven-safe bowls on a large, foil-lined baking sheet. Bring soup back to a boil and ladle evenly into the bowls. Stir 1 tablespoon grated Gruyere into each bowl. Brush a bit of butter on each bread round then place 3-4 on the top of each bowl to cover the surface. Mound grated cheese over the bread.

Bake for 20 minutes. Preheat broiler, then brown tops under the broiler for a minute or two. (Alternatively, use a culinary torch to quickly brown the cheese when you take it out of the oven.) Carefully handling the hot bowls (use potholders!), serve immediately.

Mark Bittman is always almost perfect, as evidenced by this chik’n, lettuce and chive salad

So, do you have Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything Vegetarian? It’s quite the tome, but worth its real estate on the bookshelf. I highly recommend picking up a copy if you don’t have it.

In fact, do you want one of mine? Yes, both my mister’s mother and my little brother purchased this book for me. It really killed me with my little brother — he gave it to me second. You see, he’s not always the most thoughtful little brother. So when he gave me this book for Christmas and told me that he’d looked up all the reviews and decided that this was definitely the best vegetarian cookbook out there, it broke my heart that I already had it. Kid was spot on with this one.

The thing about Bittman is that I find a lot of his recipes to be almost perfect. I love his dishes as jumping off points, but I rarely make them as directed more than once. This salad, for example: it was likely meant as a side salad, was just screaming for some protein to make it a meal salad. That, and the first time I made it as directed, it had way too many chives. Perhaps that is more authentic. But if my mister and I were going to eat it, the chives needed to be seriously cut down.

Anyway. Love you, Bittman. Never change. Except just the teensiest bit.

chik'n, lettuce and chive salad

Chik’n, Lettuce and Chive Salad
Adapted from Lettuce and Chive Salad, Korean Style by Mark Bittman in How to Cook Everything Vegetarian

Serves 4

1/4-1/2 cup sweet chili sauce (you can totally make your own, but I used the bottled stuff)
6 ounces vegetarian “chik’n” bits (Beyond Meat, Quorn tenders, Morningstar strips — I only had time to go to the crummy grocery store so I made do with Morningstar Farms Grillers Chik’n Burgers, sliced) *
cooking spray
4 eggs *
2 tablespoons dark sesame oil
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon rice vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 – 1/2 crushed red pepper flakes
1 small clove garlic, minced
9 ounces butter lettuce or butter lettuce mix
5 ounces baby spinach
1/2 ounce chives, chopped into 1″ pieces
toasted sesame seeds, to garnish

Put your “chik’n” into a bowl and cover with sweet chili sauce. Let marinate for about a half hour if you can, otherwise just marinate it as long as you can muster while prepping other stuff.

In a cast iron skillet over medium-high heat, toss your chik’n pieces in. Cook, turning occasionally, until browned and crispy. Remove from pan and set aside to cool.

Heat nonstick pan with cooking spray over medium heat. Beat eggs until combined, then dump in the pan. Cook until fairly dry, scraping constantly with a non-metal utensil to break up the eggs and prevent burning or over-cooking. Remove from pan and set aside to cool.

In a small bowl, stir sesame oil, soy sauce, vinegar, sugar, red pepper flakes, and garlic until fully combined.

Toss rinsed and dried lettuce(s), spinach, and chives in a large bowl. (A note about the chives: You should have about 1/2 ounce after they’re all trimmed up — if you’re growing your own or buying big farmer’s markety bunches rather than those terrible plastic clam-shelled chives [I know, I know], use a little more to account for the waste that you’re going to chop off the ends.)

Drizzle salad with dressing a little bit at a time until dressed to your preference. You probably won’t have to use it all. Add chik’n and scrambled eggs. Toss the whole dang thing to combine, then shake on some toasted sesame seeds for garnish.

* Vegan notes and substitutions: Obviously, use a vegan chik’n substitute, like Beyond Meat rather than Quorn. Pressed tofu would be great, as well. Omit the eggs, and add some more of your vegan protein to compensate. Alternatively, some roughly chopped peanuts or cashews would be a tasty way to add some more vegan protein.